Pain.Purpose.Prayer.

Hello, friends:

Wow, looking back I cannot believe it has been close to a year since I have last posted to this blog. How have you been? Time continues to move forward, are you?

Pain.Purpose.Prayer. has become my new mantra (and book title if I ever write one)! Some of you know that I (unwillingly) became a chronic pain sufferer 4 years ago after waking up with a migraine from sinus surgery in August 2013. I live everyday with a headache. The lowest my pain has been on the pain scale is a 4 and the highest it has been is a 15. The pain fluctuates everyday. Living with chronic pain has been an awakening into a new world, and provides an elevated level of empathy with others and irritability toward myself. 

I share this information with you in the spirit of transparency and keeping true to my belief of "Scars Are Stories, Share Yours!" Take 5 minutes to watch my "Ignite Lincoln 6" video (you can find it on my website) to get an idea of what I am talking about. I am learning more about invisible scars, I reference the emotional scars in the Ignite video, but I left out the population that I now am apart of which is those living with chronic pain & illness. Again, to look at me you wouldn't necessarily know this about me. Sure, my eyes are puffy and swollen on most days, and I have dark circles around my eyes from the constant pain so that is a change that may cause you to question my health.

To bring an awareness to one persons story of living with chronic pain, I have decided to tell my story through pictures on Instagram. I had an aha moment as I am blessed to be on sabbatical this academic year, and my research gave me the idea. My research title is "Loss and Grief in the Student-Athlete." The research methodology I am using is called PhotoVoice, which asks the research participants to document all types of loss in their sport and academics through photos. For example, a photo in a walking boot after an injury, a picture of the bench if you're riding the pine versus playing on the court, a photo of your family if you're missing them while you're at college during break for games or practice, take a picture of the "C+" you earned on that mid-term instead of the "A" because you were injured, traveling, too tired, etc. I am excited to find out how faculty, staff, and administration can support the dual role student-athletes assume on college campuses.

So, I will begin chronicling both the joys and sorrows of my journey in hopes of sparking dialogue and living my purpose.

Pain.Purpose.Prayer.
I tolerate the pain, by living my purpose, and surviving with prayer.

My wish for you is that you find your purpose, and once you do...live it, and let others benefit from it!

Godspeed,
Lisa

P.S. I hope to hear from you on Instagram!

Bat, Blanket, and Belief

Checking in:
Hello friends. Time has ticked by quickly since my last post. The new school year began with excitement and trepidation, textbooks and lectures are being read and developed, and the leaves are beginning to fall from the trees. I hope you are well and that our time away from each other gave pause to reflect on those anniversaries and milestones that continue to make themselves known in our lives, welcomed or not.

Post:
About a week ago I had an unwanted new experience...a bat in my house. For three years, I have had a resident bat roost in my entryway so I have done some research about bats. I learned about bat houses, the good things about bats, and I have seen scary pictures online with bat feces and a lot of bats flying around attics. After researching, I decided to let the bat roost and succumb to cleaning up the daily bat droppings.

For three years the resident bat and I have not encountered each other. Sometimes I look out late at night to see if he is "hanging around." I have never seen him. Yet, every morning I do see his (or her) bat droppings on the corner of my porch.

Not sure if resident bat found his way into the house or if this was a friend or relative. Needless to say, the unspoken ground rule of entering the house was violated on a humid Tuesday night. It was the night before a big day full of meetings, teaching, and a community presentation. You know, one of those nights where you go to bed early to get a good nights sleep so you are well prepared for the events of the next day.

The dim reading lamp on the other side of the bed was on as my partner lay reading and I was fast asleep. Soon, I am awoken to a quivery, yet stern, voice stating "there is a bat in our bedroom." I, being awoken from a deep sleep, simply mumble the question, "how do you know?" It was then that I cracked opened one eye to see a child like blanket fort covering my body from head to toe, protection (I'm told) from the bat flying overhead. Not sure if I am awake or dreaming, I carefully place my fingers on the outer edge of the blankets that are covering my head to peak over the top. As I look up, I see the bat circling the ceiling fan above our heads. Not cool.

After breathing deep and letting panic flow over our bodies, a brainstorming session began in our fort. One brave soul reached outside the safety of our blanket fort to grab a cell phone to retrieve "bat information." There was a 24 hour rodent service (including bats) we could call, "but for how much?" The next search was how to remove a bat from a room. It was agreed upon that I would brave the unsafe room and close the bedroom door to keep the bat out once it left. We became increasingly worried as we read about bats biting dogs since they were baby gated in the room with us.

Gingerly peering over the covers again, I noticed the bat was not in our room. Stealth as aircraft, I get out of bed and shut the bedroom door. Now we can breath a sigh of relief. Our next dilemma was "deal with it now or in the morning?" Knowing I was to get up in 5 hours for my big day, I say "deal with it now so we can get a restful sleep." After gearing up (long sleeved clothes and hats on our heads) we begin to sweep the house (as seen on TV), and clear each room to narrow down the location of the uninvited bat.

We secure all bedrooms and bathroom upstairs. As we move into the main living area, we see the bat flying in circles trying to find a way out. While doing our quick research in our fort, we read that a dim light should be on by the open door or window for the bat to see to get out. Our plan is to move through the house to the back where we can open the sliding glass door. We maneuver through the house (while watching the bat circling overhead and dive bombing), get a dim light by the door, and get the slider unlocked and the door open. The bat doesn't see the gift of freedom we have provided and continues to fly in the same pattern throughout the living room.

Getting more tired and feeling the hot humid air filling the house from the slider being open, we decide to assert ourselves with the bat. We work our way back through the closed off rooms to the bedroom to get the blanket off the bed. The new plan is to stretch out the blanket, "be big" and walk toward the back door, pushing bat outside, with our blanket wall. After much side stepping and bending down from the bat dive bombs, we get uninvited bat out of our environment and into his welcomed outdoor space.

Life Lesson:
Sometimes we get ourselves (knowingly or unknowingly) into situations. When that happens, look for the door that opens as one usually does. We may have to work to open it ourselves or someone else could provide an out for us. When we find ourselves in these circumstances we tend to panic (overtly or covertly) and may think/act erratically as we try to figure out our new surroundings.

In an attempt to calm us both during this bat escapade I kept verbalizing, "just remember the bat is scared and we need to choose how to react to that." This mantra served as a way for me to put this elevated experience into perspective. Always remember that we have a choice about how we react to our everyday circumstances. Sure, life events will continue to happen. How we choose to respond builds character or ruins our integrity. Choose to build...

Create joy in this day,
Lisa

Anniversaries and Milestones

Checking in:

Hello, friends:

Thank you for coming back for blog two! Last week we talked about the rabbit representing fear in our lives. My charge to you was to think about what fears you have and how you are moving toward or from them. What did you come up with? My own assessment revealed that of health circumstances that we cannot control. Hear me when I say many things regarding our health we can control; some do better than others. However, I am talking about those symptoms that are unique and cause concern, make our minds wander, and lead some of us to search online to educate or self diagnose. See your doctor when symptoms first begin.

Post:

Last Saturday evening my immediate and extended family gathered to celebrate my parents wedding anniversary. We enjoyed good food and insightful conversation that led to catching up and learning more about our life journeys and situations. The unique elephant in the room was that of my maternal grandmother’s death which happened one year ago on the next day. During the evening, I noticed the continuum of emotion as those most impacted were more quiet (rightfully so) than usual; to those who weren’t aware of or publicly acknowledging Doris’ death.

This situation caused me to think about losses we experience from a significant death (no longer having our loved one there for conversations & hugs, being at or participating in our life events, hearing their laughter, etc.). Plus, all of the other tangible (termination, miscarriage, mobility issues, relationships ending, retirement, etc.) and intangible (sense of purpose, loss of identity and independence, freedom, etc.) losses we experience as we move through life.

At one point, I found myself thinking about those people in my life who have had a parent die early in their lifetime. Shockingly, I easily came up with 10 names of friends (my age or one year older) who have had a parent die. Then I thought about the larger number of parents that I know who have had a child die. To those of you whom this affects I am sorry for all the losses you have, are, and will continue to experience from the death of your mother, father, daughter, and/or son.

We will encounter losses and deaths (some sudden) throughout our lifetimes. Thinking back to my post from last week about fear, I ponder why we fear death and loss? I believe we have the ability to lessen (or diminish) our fear through conversation. There is power in sharing our stories and listening to others tell theirs. Create these opportunities before they disappear.

                  

Life Lesson:

While enjoying a bubble bath after the Saturday dinner I thought about the upcoming anniversary of my grandmother’s death which led to thinking about all those anniversaries we celebrate, ignore, dread, and sometimes embrace. When you read the term anniversary, think broadly (milestones and beyond). What anniversaries do you celebrate? Relationships, sobriety, surviving life threatening illnesses & events, accolades, graduation, or employment? What about those events that cause us pain? Abuse, surgeries, not moving into remission, relocation, or unemployment? How do you honor or acknowledge those? If you do not, why not?

It is imperative that we each honor all our anniversaries and milestones. The good ones are easy to acknowledge while the hard ones we, most likely, run from. To honor the (almost) one-year anniversary of my grandmother’s death, we read her favorite poem and sang one of her favorite songs during our Saturday gathering. You see, embracing our individual milestones brings growth, contentment, and/or joy, even when pain or sorrow are still attached to that date. What anniversary/milestone is coming up that you will honor? Who needs to be apart of that acknowledgement? Moving through good and bad times with others helps reconciling joys and losses into our current lives a little easier, do not go at it alone. Share your story.

Create joy in this day,

Lisa

Bunny Crossing

Welcome to my first blog post! Thank you for taking the time to read this and (hopefully) future posts. You can find me on Twitter: @lisaborchardtNE, www.journeythroughliving.com, Linkedin, or my Journey Through Living Facebook page.

Post:
Yesterday morning I was on a walk with my 1 year old lab mix, Mocha, in our residential setting. As we approached a house that had bushes lining the curb (no sidewalk) I heard a high pitched screeching sound and saw a cat drop a baby bunny that bounced off the curb onto the street. The baby bunny froze, Mocha was curious and went into a pointing position, the cat was hunched with fur standing on its back while a hissing sound began flowing from its lips, and I stood there perplexed. Well, what does one do? I, the social worker, could not let the cat kill the bunny in front of me. Yet, knowing that a hissing cat and a gangly 1 year old dog are not a good combination I ran through my "fight, flight, or freeze" options. In the 30 seconds it seemed I had to make a decision, the noise of a car coming down the street toward us broke my stream of thought. Mocha and I slowly backed away, keeping an eye on the situation, toward the other side of the street. After seeing this big white metal object come its way, the bunny scurried into the bushes, the cat backed away from the side of the street, and I smiled. After the car passed and I realized the bunny had made an escape Mocha and I continued on our walk.

Fast forward to yesterday evening (the same day as the morning bunny crossing incident) into my backyard. Mocha bounded out the back door, as she always does, and completed her foot and nose surveillance of the backyard making sure taunting squirrels weren't in her yard or up the tree. The 7 year old, sight impaired, doxie followed her usual route out the door toward the back of the yard. The perimeter is secured and the doxie is sniffing to find a place to do what she does. Suddenly, Mocha's keen sense of sound caused her to leap toward the back fence into the tall grass (that once looked nice and is now matted). The blind dog hearing the ruckus started waddling toward the noise. Flushed out comes a baby bunny running toward the blind dog (who does not see it coming), bounces off the blind dog as it makes a turn back toward the grass realizing it was trapped. Me, again, could not let the dogs kill the bunny. I calmly, not really, scream at Mocha to get inside. Trying to wrangle her in proved quite daunting, yet I somehow achieve success before the bunny was captured. I get the blind dog back into the house without her knowing what "hit her." I go back outside to check out the situation and said baby bunny is no where to be found so I sigh a breath of relief and head back into the house.

Upon reflection of having two baby bunnies cross my path in one day, I research the sign of the rabbit. Rabbit = fear. Of course, I thought, they are always on the run and in fear of other creatures. However, further reading about the sign of the rabbit suggested I look at what I am fearful of to have two rabbits cross my path in one day.

Life Lesson:
So, as I ponder, I ask you to reflect as well. What is it that keeps us running? What are we running toward and from? Is there fear? If so, what are we doing to contribute to and alleviate it? As I bring this first blog post to a close, I will share that I am planning on completing a holistic review of my current life situations, relationships, and experiences in the coming days and suggest you do the same. Be open to the ways that answers will come, and be diligent in your handling and implementation of the information received.

Create joy in this day,
Lisa