Anniversaries and Milestones

Checking in:

Hello, friends:

Thank you for coming back for blog two! Last week we talked about the rabbit representing fear in our lives. My charge to you was to think about what fears you have and how you are moving toward or from them. What did you come up with? My own assessment revealed that of health circumstances that we cannot control. Hear me when I say many things regarding our health we can control; some do better than others. However, I am talking about those symptoms that are unique and cause concern, make our minds wander, and lead some of us to search online to educate or self diagnose. See your doctor when symptoms first begin.

Post:

Last Saturday evening my immediate and extended family gathered to celebrate my parents wedding anniversary. We enjoyed good food and insightful conversation that led to catching up and learning more about our life journeys and situations. The unique elephant in the room was that of my maternal grandmother’s death which happened one year ago on the next day. During the evening, I noticed the continuum of emotion as those most impacted were more quiet (rightfully so) than usual; to those who weren’t aware of or publicly acknowledging Doris’ death.

This situation caused me to think about losses we experience from a significant death (no longer having our loved one there for conversations & hugs, being at or participating in our life events, hearing their laughter, etc.). Plus, all of the other tangible (termination, miscarriage, mobility issues, relationships ending, retirement, etc.) and intangible (sense of purpose, loss of identity and independence, freedom, etc.) losses we experience as we move through life.

At one point, I found myself thinking about those people in my life who have had a parent die early in their lifetime. Shockingly, I easily came up with 10 names of friends (my age or one year older) who have had a parent die. Then I thought about the larger number of parents that I know who have had a child die. To those of you whom this affects I am sorry for all the losses you have, are, and will continue to experience from the death of your mother, father, daughter, and/or son.

We will encounter losses and deaths (some sudden) throughout our lifetimes. Thinking back to my post from last week about fear, I ponder why we fear death and loss? I believe we have the ability to lessen (or diminish) our fear through conversation. There is power in sharing our stories and listening to others tell theirs. Create these opportunities before they disappear.

                  

Life Lesson:

While enjoying a bubble bath after the Saturday dinner I thought about the upcoming anniversary of my grandmother’s death which led to thinking about all those anniversaries we celebrate, ignore, dread, and sometimes embrace. When you read the term anniversary, think broadly (milestones and beyond). What anniversaries do you celebrate? Relationships, sobriety, surviving life threatening illnesses & events, accolades, graduation, or employment? What about those events that cause us pain? Abuse, surgeries, not moving into remission, relocation, or unemployment? How do you honor or acknowledge those? If you do not, why not?

It is imperative that we each honor all our anniversaries and milestones. The good ones are easy to acknowledge while the hard ones we, most likely, run from. To honor the (almost) one-year anniversary of my grandmother’s death, we read her favorite poem and sang one of her favorite songs during our Saturday gathering. You see, embracing our individual milestones brings growth, contentment, and/or joy, even when pain or sorrow are still attached to that date. What anniversary/milestone is coming up that you will honor? Who needs to be apart of that acknowledgement? Moving through good and bad times with others helps reconciling joys and losses into our current lives a little easier, do not go at it alone. Share your story.

Create joy in this day,

Lisa